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Who will win this year's Law Revue Video Contest? It’s up to you. Start voting now!

A kind conservative on the Court to replace Kennedy?

* Professor Victor Williams of the Catholic University of America School of Law, who’s been called the “Republican Lawrence Lessig” by some, is running a write-in campaign for president with the sole intent of eliminating Ted Cruz as a candidate due to his birth in Canada. He alleges that the Texas senator committed ballot access fraud by falsely swearing that he was a natural born citizen. Thanks to Williams’s allegations, a primary disqualification hearing is being held today in New Jersey. [PR Newswire]

* Does SCOTUS have a diversity problem? One justice thinks so. In the wake of President Obama calling attention to his nominee’s whiteness, Justice Sonia Sotomayor noted the Court’s homogeneity, saying that SCOTUS is currently at a “disadvantage from having [five] Catholics, three Jews, [and] everyone from an Ivy League school.” [TIME]

* Here’s an interesting theory: According to Patterson Belknap senior partner Gregory Diskant, because the Senate has failed to give President Obama its advice and consent with regard to his Supreme Court nominee, it can be said the Senate waived its rights, leaving Obama free to appoint Judge Garland to the high court. [Washington Post]

* “There is something seductively subversive about having a name that has a secondary street meaning, which, by the way, is not necessarily a bad thing to think of your lawyers as being.” MoFo — a law firm that’s perhaps known as Morrison & Foerster in more conservative circles — has fully embraced its sexy “street name.” [Big Law Business]

* Prosecutors say former House speaker and disgraced Dickstein Shapiro partner Dennis Hastert paid $3.5M to silence a boy he sexually abused, and molested at least four more children. Because the statutes of limitations have long since run on those crimes, he’ll likely serve only six months for banking crimes related to his hush-money payoffs. [AP]

* The legalese in user agreements is no joke. Fortunately there’s a cartoon — yup, you heard right, a cartoon — to make sense of the iTunes agreement. [Slate]

* Science says we should let go of our workplace grudges. I guess “science” never spent Christmas Eve redacting Excel spreadsheets so a production could be made by midnight. [Quartz]

* The Tennessee judge who characterized the Supreme Court as wielding an “iron fist and limp wrist” over Obergefell… yeah, he got reprimanded. [Legal Profession Blog]

* What the hell is going on at University of Louisville Law School. [Tax Prof Blog]

* The bureaucratic bulls**t behind Obama’s inability to close the doors on Gitmo. [Huffington Post]

* The best (worst?) of the right-wing blogosphere. Be sure to take your blood pressure medication before you click. [Village Voice]

* The crime of being young, black and free. [The Root]

* Congrats to Texas’s Tweeter Laureate, Justice Don Willett, on this latest positive press! [San Antonio Express-News]

There's a fine line between supporting freedom and officially supporting hate. Where is the line in this case?

* The Fifth Circuit is allowing the Texas voter ID law to be enforced during the upcoming election, even though it was recently struck down by a federal judge. After all, “preserving the status quo” is very important down south. [Bloomberg]

* We suppose that’s why the Supreme Court stepped in to make sure that abortion clinics in Texas were allowed to reopen following their shut down. Take that, Fifth Circuit. [New York Times]

* AG Eric Holder is showing off some fancy legal footwork before he walks out the door. Federal prosecutors can no longer ask defendants to waive their IAC claims when pleading guilty. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Davis Polk & Wardwell is a Biglaw firm where hotties roam, and it looks like this top Justice Department prosecutor who started his career there is returning home there to roost. [DealBook / New York Times]

* It’s the debt: With headlines like “Law school applications plummet – at U of L too,” the University of Louisville School of Law can’t even convince alums from its undergrad school to attend. [Courier-Journal]

* Amal Alamuddin changed her name to Amal Clooney on her firm’s website. It’s as if she wants to rub the fact that she’s a human rights lawyer who just got married in everyone’s face. [New York Daily News]

When: November 6. Where: Washington, D.C. Be there or be square.

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An aquatic look at which law firms' alumni have the top spots at the largest U.S. law firms.

* The Zimmerman verdict allows us to sit back and reflect on how bad Atticus Finch really was at his job. [Criminal Defense Blog] * In case you’d forgotten about the shenanigans at Louisville’s Brandeis School of Law, here’s your update: a former employee has been charged for promising students more scholarships than the school had. Rick Pitino needs to show the law school how to work within scholarship limits. [Courier-Journal] * State licensing boards are trying to put the kibosh on advice columnists. Next thing you know, they’ll be trying to shut down Dr. Demento. [Lexington Herald-Leader] * Fun with patents: Monkey Dog Saddle! [Lowering the Bar] * Transgendered workers are successfully challenging workplace discrimination using the Civil Rights Act. These sound like cases Justice Alito will get right on overturning. [Buzzfeed] * McDonald’s is trying to show how it provides its employees a living wage. It just requires working a second job for a total of between 62-74 hours. No biggie. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

Do you have something to say about your law school's U.S. News ranking? This is the place to do it!

Which law schools' alumni have the worst views of their alma maters? Let's find out!

* Should the mentally disabled receive the death penalty? Neither SCOTUS nor Georgia’s Supreme Court stayed Warren Lee Hill’s execution, but the Eleventh Circuit saved the day. [Washington Post]

* If you’re looking for a mishmosh of Biglaw news, from new offices to new hires to new firm leaders, then look no further. If only this list were in alphabetical order! [Law Firm Insider / U.S. News & World Report]

* Dewey know why this partner who was sued by Barclays in the U.K. over his capital loan is suing the bank in the U.S.? It involves an alleged fraud and Joel Sanders. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* So much for that “silly sideshow”: Judge Richard Sullivan of the S.D.N.Y. hasn’t made a ruling in the Greenlight case yet, but he says David Einhorn may have a “likelihood of success on the merits” if the matter proceeds further. [Bloomberg]

* One of the partners at this small law firm apparently watched Secretary a few too many times, and he’s now accused of threatening to “whip” his ex-assistant into shape because she was a “bad girl.” [New York Post]

* The University of Utah’s S.J. Quinney College of Law named an interim successor to former dean Hiram Chodosh, but we can’t say he’s a law dean hottie. He looks like Van Pelt from Jumanji. [Salt Lake Tribune]

* The Catholic University of America’s Columbus School of Law will house the first clinic in the nation devoted to pardons and the law. It figures that a religious school would focus on legal Hail Marys. [Blog of Legal Times]

* Career alternatives for law school dropouts: mining magnate and financier of the Titanic II. Much like the value proposition of going to law school for today’s generation, this idea is unsinkable. [New York Times]

* Prosecutors have upgraded the charge against Oscar Pistorius to premeditated murder, and one could now say the track star doesn’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to being released on bail pending trial. [CNN]

* D is for… divorce? Sesame Street is talking about divorce in a way that children can understand, but alas, the series neglects important topics like “why mommy is a whore” and “why daddy drinks.” [Law Firm Newswire]

* Chief Justice John Roberts gave a Solicitor General’s Office attorney a vicious tongue-lashing for failure to be upfront about policy changes between presidents. Now that’s what we’d call a verbal benchslap! [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* When asked if they’d be following Cravath’s bonuses, a dozen Am Law 100 firms didn’t even care to respond or discuss the matter. It seems the partners would rather keep their associates squirming with suspense a while longer. [Am Law Daily]

* Watch out, world, because Catholic University of America just hired a Biglaw senior partner to lead its law school. Say hello to Dean Daniel Attridge, formerly managing partner at the D.C. office of Kirkland & Ellis. [National Law Journal]

* A federal judge ordered tobacco companies to disclose in product warnings that they chemically induce smoking addictions to turn a profit, but those fools will keep puffing their cancer sticks anyway. [WSJ Law Blog]

* This just in from Flori-duh: you know you’re probably going to have a bad day in court when the judge won’t declare a mistrial even though the prosecutor technically wasn’t a member of the state Bar. [Miami Herald]

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* Bankruptcy blues: “No one is getting a free pass.” Howrey going to start clawing back all of that money from our former partners and their new firms? Dewey even want to get started with this failed firm’s D&L defectors? [Am Law Daily (sub. req.)]

* Way to show that you’ve got some Seoul: Ropes & Gray, Sheppard Mullin, and Clifford Chance were the first Biglaw firms to receive approval from the Korean Ministry of Justice to open the first foreign firm offices in South Korea. [Legal Week]

* This is supposed to represent an improvement? Pretty disappointing. The percentage of women holding state court judgeships increased by a whopping 0.7 percent over last year’s numbers. [National Law Journal]

* Throw your birth control pills in the air like confetti, because a judge tossed a lawsuit filed by seven states that tried to block the Affordable Care Act’s mandatory contraception coverage provision. [Lincoln Journal Star]

* “[S]omewhere along the way the guy forgot to tell the seller that he was working with the buyer.” Duane Morris was sued for negligence and breach of fiduciary duty for more than $192M. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Please don’t Google me, bitches. Brandon Hamilton, Louisville Law’s ex-assistant dean for admissions, resigned Monday after overpromising $2.4M in scholarship money to incoming law students. [Courier-Journal]

* A New Hampshire college is offering free tuition to students in their junior year if they combine their senior year with their first year at the Massachusetts School of Law. The catch? Mass Law is unaccredited. [NHPR]