A 'Secret' To Success
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By no means would I ever compare my 4’10” nerdy self to an athlete of any kind — but there is at least one thing professional athletes and I have in common. And that is — having a coach. This is one of my “secrets” to success. I have worked with my professional coach since late 2018, and while I know how this may sound to most lawyers (aka skeptics), the experience has been transformational for me, both personally and professionally.
For those skeptics out there, I feel you. Before I worked with my professional coach, I, too, was a skeptic. I had no idea what a professional coach did. On one hand, the vague term conjured distorted images of a swindler promising to make me C-suite ready with their equivalent of snake oil — mental mumbo-jumbo. On the other hand, if legitimate, I also questioned what a coach could do that I couldn’t find on my own in any number of self-help books lining the shelves of the airport bookstore.
But within a few sessions, and certainly over the years, I became a convert. My coach has helped me polish my executive presence, develop my conflict-resolution skills, gain self-awareness and confidence in my unique abilities, and provide accountability for my goals. In fact, we just had a session this week, and I left the meeting with even more clarity on what I wanted to work on this year — and importantly, the how. And while his advice may be found in bits and pieces of any number of books and is backed by neuroscience, I get his expertise tailored to me in one-hour sessions instead of reading and studying numerous books on my own.
For those who are curious, or perhaps, who have given a coach a shot and it didn’t work for you but you want to try again, here are a couple of thoughts to consider.
Make A List Of What You Want To Work On
While my first thought was to suggest that you need to know your why — and get clarity on what you want to gain from a coaching relationship — that may be too vague if you have never thought about this before. I think back to when I reached out to my coach initially, and I was a stressed-out, anxious mess who felt like she was drowning between work and being a new mom of two and reaching out to a coach was a Hail Mary. I, did, however, have one ask — and that was for him to help me come up with a tangible plan on implementing the feedback I received from my manager from my performance review.
Ultimately, to be successful, you need to consider what success looks like — what you want to achieve. In other words, you may set yourself up for failure if you just go to a coach with an unrealistic expectation of “make me better” without knowing what better looks like.
An extra perk to the list is that you can use it to “vet” your prospective coaches and ask them about their experience with clients with similar asks and what their methods are. It is important to find the right fit — someone who you find credible, that you trust — to give you what you’re looking for. For example, I chose my coach because I love StrengthsFinder, and he is StrengthsFinder-certified. I also don’t feel like I get value unless I get tangible takeaways and homework, which he provides to me in every session.
Be Ready And Willing To Invest The Time And Resources
Just like an athlete with their coach, it is unrealistic to presume that one session will be effective in unleashing all of your excellence. The process is necessarily iterative. The coaching relationship will only work if you are invested and willing to prioritize your meetings and willing to do the work. This means making the time to prework as needed before sessions, attend sessions, and then work on reflection and action-items that may come out of your sessions. If your work doesn’t cover the cost, you may need to consider investing in yourself.
Investing the time also means taking the time to get referrals from your friends, vetting the prospective coaches, and being open to the possibility that you may need to work with a few coaches before finding the right fit.
While retaining a coach is no panacea for your career, working with the right one can be the start of an upward trajectory.
