Government

J.D. Vance Won't Replace Brett Kavanaugh As Yale Law School's Worst Alum. But, He Sure Is Giving It The Old College Try!

Slow clap for YLS.

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Another big mazel tov to Yale Law School on its distinguished alum J.D. Vance. The elegiac hillbilly did his alma mater proud last night, appearing on Tucker Carlson’s show Time to Panic, Grandma! to advocate for government censorship and asset forfeiture for dangerous thought crimes.

“Why are we allowing the companies, the foundations that are destroying America to receive tax preferences,” Vance wondered. “Why don’t we seize the assets of the Ford Foundation, tax their assets, and give it to the people who’ve had their lives destroyed by their radical open borders agenda?”

Vance, who is running for Ohio’s open senate seat on the Peter Thiel Libertarian Sock Puppet platform, is responding to the latest manufactured f*cktussle in academia. In short, a couple of edgelords slapped “Police Lives Matter” bumper stickers on their laptops and parked themselves in Arizona State University’s Multicultural Center hoping to get yelled at on camera and become the next viral sensation. They hit the jackpot when two women shouted at them to leave, and the boys managed to eke out even more hits when it was revealed that one of the shouters, a PhD student at ASU, is also a Ford Foundation fellow.

And then it was off to the races.

Perhaps you have heard of “James Lindsay, primo douchelord PhD?” His works are cited by all the premiere public intellectuals.

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“The basic way this works is that the Ford Foundation, the Gates Foundation, the Harvard University endowment, these are fundamentally cancers on American society, but they pretend to be charities, so they benefit from preferential tax treatment,” Vance explained to his credulous host.

“So AOC talks about taxing the wealthy, but the Harvard University endowment pays zero tax. The Ford Foundation that funds those radicals pays zero tax,” he went on. “They are not actually going to tax their wealthy friends who are funding radical left-wing ideology. What they’re going to do is tax normal Americans and protect their friends, protect their special privileges so they have the resources to continue to fund what is ultimately the destruction of our country.”

That’s some impressive cognitive dissonance from a guy who received scholarships to attend some of the nation’s premier educational institutions and whose political campaign is being subsidized by a racist billionaire who took advantage of massive tax loopholes for the rich and even got himself New Zealand citizenship to avoid paying American taxes.

But more to the point, Vance knows perfectly well that what he’s saying is drivel. The IRS can’t confiscate assets from charities just because conservatives don’t like them. Not even if it were true that “they fund critical race theory, they fund ridiculous racism, they fund teaching 6-year-olds that they should, you know, cast off their gender.”

And while Vance doubles down ever further on the dogwhistle, his “I’m Just a Simple Country Dumbass With a Fancy Degree” act appears to be going nowhere with Ohio voters. The latest poll from the Club for Growth (take with many grains of salt) shows Vance trailing his Republican rival Josh Mandel by 24 points. Because voters like a candidate who’s genuine, and when Josh Mandel tells you he’s an idiot, you know he’s the real deal.

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Imagine setting fire to your reputation only to get your ass kicked by this doofus. Then again, Jane Timken dedicated her career to Republican politics in Ohio and is not visibly insane, and she’s running far behind both of these clowns so … could be worse.

Elizabeth Dye lives in Baltimore where she writes about law and politics.

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