7 Bits Of Real Advice For High Schoolers Who Want To Be Lawyers
The REAL way to prepare your kid for a career in the law.
Over at the Huffington Post, they have an article, originally posted on Quora, that purports to give advice for parents whose high-school-aged children are determined to become lawyers. The post is filled with utterly reasonable advice, all of which notes that as a teenager there’s lots of time for them to change their damn minds, but it got me thinking. What do you really need to know if your child, or someone you care about, is seriously thinking of going to law school?
After swallowing down the disappointment, here are the things you can do to help them achieve their goal, no matter how dubious you think their life plan really is.
#1 — Get them ready to have their soul sucked out — it was really only holding them back anyway.
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#2 — Advise they start practicing polyphasic sleep. Less sleep = MOAR billable hours.
#3 — Get them to stop making friends. They’ll only wind up disappointing them with a constant pattern of making and then canceling plans, until all parties finally come to the tacit agreement that they used to be friends, but aren’t anything more than friendly acquaintances.
#4 — Tell them to stop thinking they’ll make a difference. They won’t. The system is bigger than they could possibly imagine. Suicide would at least save society the trouble of breaking them. [This cheerful bit of advice comes from Above the Law’s Elie Mystal.]
#5 — Start charging them rent. Sure, they can’t pay it on the measly allowance you’ve given them, but be sure to keep track of all the money you spend on them. Best to get them used to living under the weight of crippling debt as soon as possible.
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#6 — Get them a Ritalin prescription. Maybe they don’t need it now, but if they truly want to live the lawyer lifestyle, get them chemical dependent right quick.
#7 — Demand unreasonable tasks from them moments before they plan to go out. Nope, it isn’t fair, but that 5:00 p.m. Friday call from the managing partner won’t be fair either.
How to Prepare Your Kid for a Career in Law, as Told by a Lawyer [Huffington Post]
Kathryn Rubino is an editor at Above the Law. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).
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